Mind Games
by PetPetAngel
Summary: He's never told anyone about... him before. [NegaTimmyxTimmy][Oneshot]


-

Mind Games

Written by:

PetPetAngel

-

He's never told anyone about… _him_ before. He's never had the courage.

He's always thought it would bother them. He's always thought it would be too bothersome, he's always thought it would be dangerous. He's always thought he could handle it on his own, handle the voice in his head… Timmy isn't so sure anymore. He's not so sure because he's starting to think that that oh-so-familiar voice in his ear is a little, perhaps a lot, bigger than he is.

It started a long time ago. All of it. It actually only started shortly after the other left, but Timmy's never felt like telling anyone. It scared him a lot in the beginning and he wanted to tell, he wanted to tell really badly… But he told him not to. And the more he said it, the more Timmy didn't want to.

But now… Now Timmy thinks it might be a good idea to go against him. Now he thinks it might be safer, smarter… But he always has that fear… That fear that he wouldn't like it, and that he'd go after him.

But it's not real, and Timmy sighs, because that's always been true. He's just made it, him, all of it come to life. Of his own doing he's created his biggest enemy.

Of his own doing he's fallen in love with it.

It makes no sense. He doesn't want to believe it's even possible – what he's done. It just doesn't make sense and he wonders how it could work because it's still always just in his head. He knows that better than anyone, but now he's not so sure. He's confused, very, very confused. It doesn't make sense and he's pretty sure it never will.

He'll never let it. That's part of his game, he thinks. He makes it make no sense – makes it sound so ridiculous that no one would ever believe… That's supposed to tell him not to, and it has, Timmy thinks.

He sighs softly and looks at blank homework sheet in front of him. He knows Wanda will be worried soon, but he's been coming more and more often and it's getting to him. It makes him that he's planning something, even though he always says he isn't. He says he merely… 'Enjoys the company', but Timmy can't say the same. There is always something menacing about his presence and it unnerves him.

Wanda is speaking, but Timmy can't hear her. Suddenly, it seems like he's there once more. Timmy's gone stiff and he feels warm breath on his ear. He's in a daring mood, Timmy thinks, because he's never come out during the day. It's always in his dreams that he reveals himself, and although Wanda is still talking she can't see him.

"Of course she can't see," he breathes into his ear, and Timmy shudders.

"Why not?"

"Because, I made it so."

Timmy figures he's just a little bit more than afraid of him, because he has the power. He is in control – everything that happens to him, to them… It is all in his hand. He has no choice and no free-will, and whatever free-will he used to have is taken away from him because he could never stand it if he still had it.

He likes the fear Timmy feels. That Timmy knows well – for in his eyes fear is the equivalent of respect and that's all that he has ever wanted. That was why he came back. That's why Timmy doesn't like to go to sleep, but it seems not that there is no freedom from him, for he's come out during the day now.

That little sense of security slips.

It's not real, he tells himself again, but it's real enough to scare him. It's real enough to make him feel like never before, and even though all the touches he 'accepts' are merely out of fear, that is all he needs. And if it's not real then he shouldn't have felt how he did – Timmy knows he's learned to accept it sincerely.

"But you've done more than that," he whispers in Timmy's ear, and somehow he feels closer than before. Timmy wants to swat him away and he always has, but his hands merely twitch at his sides. He knows that he cannot.

And he also knows he's right. He may be ten, but he's not an idiot. He knows what his feelings are, because he's always given him the occasional night of peace to let him think, sort things out. Timmy isn't sure whether he takes it as a kind gesture or not. It gives him time to think things out, but it makes him hope that the next night he won't be back.

He always is. And that makes it hurt more.

It's absolutely ridiculous – all of it. But he thinks it's fun – that is another part of his game. He is the tormenter, because while it is not as large-scale as his last doings, it's all the tormenting he needs to be 'happy' because he can do it whenever he likes. It drives Timmy crazy, but he tries not to show it as best as he can because that's what he wants. He wants to know he's winning.

Timmy doesn't want to give him that satisfaction, but he knows that it's useless. Like only a few others can do, he can see right through him. Every front he has put up against him has been destroyed and it bothers Timmy that he can't seem to win. But he's not defeated yet. He won't be for his own sake.

Wanda is more than concerned now, but Timmy is focusing on other things, like the voice in his ear, "You know I care about you," but the laugh that follows is cruel and unfeeling and it makes Timmy shiver. "You know I care about you more than anyone else you know," and he licks his ear.

"Don't lie to me," Timmy says quietly, "I know you don't care. I can see it in your eyes."

He seems slightly taken aback by the reply – Timmy knows it's the first time he's done it in a very long time. "I won't be your pet – I'm not an animal!" Timmy grits his teeth as he kisses at his cheeks, "Stop," he protests, but he plea falls on deaf ears.

"Look at that… Still some thought left in you. Incredible – you endure well." He chuckles, wrapping his arms around Timmy's slim shoulders. While Timmy uncomfortably tries to shrug the arms off, _he_ snorts. "Would you look at that…" His voice is breathy, "And of course I don't want you to be my pet," he caresses Timmy's cheek, "I want you to be my lover… Would you look at that…?"

Timmy's eyes are squeezed shut, "Lemme tell you," he says into the boy's ear, "You've given me a good time already, and we haven't even _done_ anything…" He sighs softly, squeezing the boy's shoulder gently, "You've given me quite a few surprises, Timmy… What on earth else have you given me truly….?"

"A person to bug?"

"A person to bug?" He laughs harshly, "Boy, I hate to tell you this, but you brought me to this. I wouldn't mind leaving you alone but," he tugs only slightly roughly on the hair at the nape of Timmy's neck, "You see… That was before you wanted to get rid of me." He cracks his neck and Timmy winces, "_No one_ tries to get rid of me…"

Timmy squirmed in his seat, eyes looking at the homework sheet and refusing to meet the other's eyes, "We had to," he says quietly, "We had no choice! You're a mon---"

He laughs again in his ear, "You're such a good little boy… Don't _lie_, Timmy. There's always a choice, Timmy. Don't talk to _me_ about choice. That's the wrong person to talk about things like free will." His voice is only slightly angry, "You made me, Timmy. You brought me here. You made me who I am, after you tried to shut me out… That was your mistake." He growls and Timmy knows he's resisting the urge to bite him.

"I told you," Timmy says insistently, although he's still quiet, "You're a monster!" Timmy turns his head to look at the other in the eyes but cringes at the steady, hard gaze directed back at him.

"Do monsters feel, Timmy? Do they? Huh? I can't hear you!" He lets out a hiss, "Monsters have no mercy. I? Just happen to have a thing for mental anguish. If I was such a monster I would've done a lot worse to you – regardless of what you wanted. But no! I've let you be. I've spoken to you, caressed, loved, not hurt. The hurt you feel… That's just you, Timmy. I am no monster."

Nega-Timmy reaches for him again and Timmy realizes that whatever happens it doesn't matter because when it all comes down to it… All of it is just in his head.


End file.
